As a child I grew up quickly.  I had to... it was a matter of survival.  My dad was out of control, my mom was out of control and they
were in control of me.  By the time I was nine I was making meals trying to stop the violence.  By ten I was lying to try and stop the
beatings.  Nothing worked.  I spent most of my life filled with anger and shame because I couldn't fix it.  The fact was
I Was
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12 Steps
- AA
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12 Promises
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1.   We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction,
that our lives had become unmanageable.                                                                                                      
poem           article

2.   Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.                                            poem           article

3.   Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.                       poem           article

4.   Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.                                                                         poem           article

5.   Admitted to God, to our selves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.                       poem           article

6.   Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.                                                        poem          article

7.   Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.                                                                                            poem          article

8.  Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.                            poem          article

9.  Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.   poem          article

10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.                                  poem          article

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God,
praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry it out.                                                 
poem           article

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message
to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.                                                    
 poem          article
The 12 Steps of ACOA

Sharing experience, strengths, and hopes through stories and poems
12 Steps of AA
The 12 Promises of ACOA

1.  We will discover our real identities by loving
and accepting ourselves.                                       
poem   article

2.  Our self-esteem will increase as we give
ourselves approval on a daily basis.                     
 poem   article

3.  Fear of authority figures and the need to
"people-please" will leave us.                                
poem    article

4.  Our ability to share intimacy will
grow inside us.                                                      
poem    article

5.  As we face our abandonment issues,
we will be attracted by strengths and become
more tolerant of weaknesses.                               
poem    article

6.  We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful,
and financially secure.                                         
 poem    article

7.  We will learn how to play and
have fun in our lives.                                            
poem    article

8.  We will chose to love people who can love
and be responsible for themselves.                     
 poem    article

9.  Healthy boundaries and limits will become
easier for us to set.                                              
 poem    article

10. Fears of failures and success will leave us,
as we intuitively make healthier choices.             
 poem    article

11. With help from our ACA support group,
we will slowly release our dysfunctional
poem    article

12. Gradually, with our Higher Power's help,
we learn to expect the best and get it.                 
poem     article
12 Steps of Self-Parenting, created by Patricia
O'Gorman, Ph.D. & Philip Diaz, M.S.W.  Their

1.  Admitted our powerlessness to change our past - that our
lives had become unmanageable and became willing to
surrender our love and not to our fear.                              

2.  Find hope in the belief that recovery is possible through
faith and an acceptance of the fact that we are
never really alone.                                                             

3.  Learned to let go of compulsive self-reliance by
reaching out to our Higher Parent.                                    

4.  Made an honest assessment of our strengths and
weaknesses and accepted the impact our childhood
had upon us as adults.                                                     

5.  Learned to share our self-parenting issues with others
without self-recrimination or shame.                                 

6.  Become ready to change by giving up the demand to be

7.  Learned to embrace our uniqueness and
connectedness to others in a spirit of love and humility.   

8.  Learned self-forgiveness and made amends to
our inner child.                                                                  

9.  Healed our inner child by realizing the promises of
self-parenting in our daily life.                                           

10.  Practiced daily self-acceptance and learned to
live in the present.                                                           

11.  Allowed the divinity in us to shine forth by
surrendering to our Higher Power.                                     

12.  Having had this spiritual awakening,
we reached out to others in the spirit of giving,
love and community.                                                         
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Last Updated 23 February 2019
14 Years