John Bradshaw always states that the "disease of the disease" is codependency.
There is a belief that you can not be an alcoholic or an addict without being
codependent. The two walk hand in hand.
When recovering from an addiction, we need to be careful not to substitute it
with a new addiction.
There is a belief that you can not be an alcoholic or an addict without being
codependent. The two walk hand in hand.
When recovering from an addiction, we need to be careful not to substitute it
with a new addiction.
The 12 Steps of Codependents Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become
unmanageable. poem article
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity. poem article
3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we
understood God. poem article
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
poem article
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature
of our wrongs. poem article
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
poem article
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
poem article
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make
amends to them all. poem article
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
poem article
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly
admitted it. poem article
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact
with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us
and the power to carry that out.
poem article
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to other co-dependents, and to practice these principles in
all our affairs.
poem article
The 12 Steps of CODA were adapted by permission from the 12 steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous.
1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become
unmanageable. poem article
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity. poem article
3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we
understood God. poem article
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
poem article
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature
of our wrongs. poem article
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
poem article
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
poem article
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make
amends to them all. poem article
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
poem article
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly
admitted it. poem article
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact
with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us
and the power to carry that out.
poem article
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to other co-dependents, and to practice these principles in
all our affairs.
poem article
The 12 Steps of CODA were adapted by permission from the 12 steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous.
| So ill… So sick so ill... so sick spit in the mirror at an image that won't go away fell into a trap thought it was love just... dysfunctional needs a need to feel power to be in control to be a hero... your hero a show of strength providing protection from this evil world a need for your acceptance a wonderful high... your approval over time... this need needed more more approval... more love more acceptance yet... got less fantasies were lies love was manipulation to fulfill needs dysfunctional needs so ill... so sick |
| Humiliation somewhere in the humiliation there is a sense of excitement it's the thrill of the chase to be caught tied up in emotions and feelings beyond our control to willingly be forced to look inside and find something released through insecurities the humiliation... throws away our childhood boundaries the anxiety leads to fantasies illusions never dreamed before at least... consciously locked doors blown away to a new world providing a freedom to explore a new journey begins following someone else's rules agreeing to the humiliation which over time leaves and acceptance follows filling the soul with peace "I'm OK" |
| Finally Walking Together never thought you'd see the fantasy it's led to a little insecurity a part of me has been revealed the secret has been unsealed ashamed of what you might think my ego began to shrink you didn't laugh...you didn't cry wasn't sure what was going on inside kept quiet... someday... I thought you'd want to talk but you played some games the fantasy was now driving me insane hot as fire... cold as ice at times angry... at times nice you'd walk away... than let me in didn't know if I sink or swim couldn't just walk away wanted the fantasy to stay I know it's pure insanity please God... please help me see the child that's buried within wishing to be free from this sin tonight I'll pray that you'll set me free so we can walk together... You and me |
Recognizing Codependency...
A lot of codependency looks very honorable to the outside world. They see
someone taking care of a sick spouse and see it as an act of love... but when does
this giving love turn into receiving abuse? There are so many extremes with it that
a person quickly loss their own identity.
A lot of codependency looks very honorable to the outside world. They see
someone taking care of a sick spouse and see it as an act of love... but when does
this giving love turn into receiving abuse? There are so many extremes with it that
a person quickly loss their own identity.
I have gotten so involved in making the life of another complete, that I have lost mine. The image above is a chart
with the extremes of codependency while the middle shows the traits of a healthy relationship. Click on it to blow it up.
| If I am I because I am I And you are you because you are you Then I am and you are. But if I am I because you are you And you are you because I am I Then I am not and you are not. - Rabbi Mendel |
The Promises of Coda
Many fellowships have a set of Promises that is the goal for those in the program. Most say "we" or "our" CODA says
"I" and it needs to be that way. We have to take care of ourselves first before helping others.
Many fellowships have a set of Promises that is the goal for those in the program. Most say "we" or "our" CODA says
"I" and it needs to be that way. We have to take care of ourselves first before helping others.
| Creating Dreams, by surrendering to codependency |
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