by leaving behind the past
Creating Dreams Musings
In time I learned that if I called I wouldn't wait for him to pick up the phone. I would just hang up. He'd still come home angry and
upset but no one would assume responsibility for the call and he'd quickly calm down.
I hated that bar. Behind that bar on a cold February morning my mom's body was found, frozen to the ground. A bottle of Scotch
in her pocket. She died the way she lived – drunk.
How many more families died in that bar? I know an old girl friend's family was destroyed in that bar, as well as her own life was
destroyed because of that bar.
The people on that Facebook page speak about it like it's a shrine. To me it represents hell and I wish they would have just burnt it
to the ground. At least I can find solace in knowing that the new owners are not keeping the bar alive. They are creating a new
business but I do wonder if the ghosts of broken families from the past will haunt that building.
No bar, no pub, no tavern should become a shrine or a place of worship. For the happiness it supposedly brings, the pain seems
to linger a lot longer.
In a round about way, I needed the pain of that bar to see how special and wonderful life can be without it. I used to know my way
around any community by where it was located in reference to a bar. Now I don't know the names of any bars or where they are
Thank God for sobriety and thank God for not needing the friendships found while I have a drink in my hand...
Awhile back I was on Facebook on a page dedicated to the town I grew up in.
Many of the people on that page are ten to twenty years older then me and I
really can't relate to much they say. Some times though, a conversation will stir
some old memories of past happy times. And I will share my thoughts with the
group on what I remember.
Sadly for me though, is how many people have fond memories of the town's old
drinking establishment. They show pictures of the bar. A bar where I had my first
“legal” drink. They'll show the old pool table and the bowling alley in the
The picture though that I hate the most, that makes me physically ill, is a picture
of an old phone booth inside the bar. It just sends chills down my spine. So
many times I would call that phone begging dad to come home. At first, I would
call hoping to catch him before he got drunk. Which was a mistake. He would
come home, angry at me and angry at mom. He would yell and scream and
eventually the hitting would start.
Master Practitioner 18 years sober Hypnotist
& Life Coach
12 Steps - AA CODA Self-Parenting
12 Promises - AA ACOA
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