Early in my sobriety I did a lot of self-analysing of my life. I spent loads of time looking at my dreams. They always seemed to have messages for me if I spent the time to try and listen to them. I’d go to sleep with a pad and pencil on my nightstand and when I awoke from a dream, I’d write down the highlights of what I had just experienced in my sleep.
Then the next day, I’d write in more detail what happened in that dream. To go a bit deeper I purchased a book that asked questions about your dreams. Just a simple example. You had a dream where you are running away from a main street, entirely naked and people are watching you. You’d then look in the book and search for towns, or people, or nudity. Then come up with the question of what secret are you scared of being exposed? Or what was exposed that you can’t deal with? The questions were limited with only your own personal insight.
It helped me understand my insecurities and fears. It helped me look at things in a different way. I haven’t studied my dreams in over a decade. Lately though through odd impossible dreams, that could never happen, it has made me look back at a dream I had consistently for over three years. I had this dream at least three times a week and dream never changed.
Everyone has dreams and I thin it is safe to say that a majority of the population forgets their dreams shortly after they wake up. I had this one dream so often that I knew every detail in it. It was a house, that had a deathly silence. It was dusty and unkept, except for one room in the center of the house. A room whose walls were all glass. A perfect hygienic room. There were never more than 4 people in the dream. One was myself. Two were friends but more than that they were observers and the other was a being who was part of me. Except for me, none of the other three had faces. No one ever talked but we all knew what the other was thinking and what each of us had to do.
During those three years of studying this dream and as more details came out, the more confused I got with it all. I finally went another step deeper and wrote a poem about it entitled Dreams of a Haunted House. I still couldn’t understand what my subconscious was trying to tell me. I went to a final step and made a video about it, using the poem as the main part of the video.
At that same time, I was coming to a personal decision that would change my life. I didn’t put 2 and 2 together, but while the dream remained with me it was occurring substantially less than before. I finally decided to act on what was in the back of my mind for over five years. I moved out of my home and filed for divorce.
I still watch that video and remember that dream. I look at it with total awe, at just how powerful our minds can be if we just listen. After I moved out, the dream stopped and never returned. My subconscious finally got through to me, that for my survival, divorce was necessary.
I don’t study my dreams like I did at one time. Yet, I still study them and enjoy the meanings they send to me. Below is the video from that dream. A dream that changed my life. The evil in the dream wasn’t my ex-wife, it was the depression that had overtaken me and that pristine room was my inability to talk about my troubles to her or others – they were all faceless and couldn’t help me.
Do you look at your dreams? You may be surprised with the messages being sent to you… from you.